Thursday, May 6, 2010

Our Unborn Child

 I received an award!  Thanks to JAVA for bestowing this nice surprise on me today.
The Rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

Rule #1:  See above.

Rule #2:  1.  I like roses, especially smelly ones.
2.  I took piano lessons for 11 years.
3.  I love staying home and relaxing, but I never get to anymore.
4.  I hate coffee...unless it has some kind of cappaccino mix in it.  My favorite is English Toffee.
5.  I love to bake.
6. My eyes are dark chocolate brown.
7.  I love to sit out by our fire pit and talk to whoever shows up.

Rule #3
1) Ria 
3)  Kel 
5) Jen 
12) Ocean
13) Brooke
15) Jacqui

Rule #4:  I'll contact you all later.

Today, I am going to talk about the one that wasn't meant to be.  In 1993, Mike and I talked about starting a family.  I quickly got pregnant in late May/early June.  I was drying off after a shower and a pain so sudden and sharp hit my abdomen, that I almost passed out.  I knew then, that I was pregnant, but something wasn't right.  But, nothing else happened in the following days.  I went to the doctor in mid-June and found out that I was in fact expecting.   But the news was strange.  My blood cell count wasn't were it should be.  The doctor told me to see my OB doctor as soon as I could.  

I got in to see her and they did blood work too.  I went home that afternoon and didn't do much.  I was waiting for a call from the doctor.  When she called, she told me that my cells weren't doubling or tripling like they should during a normal pregnancy.  "I'm sorry," she said.  "I think something is wrong."  She told me to come in to her office the next week and see what was up.  She did say she suspected that it was a tubal pregnancy.  I hung up and prayed.  I told Mike and we decided to tell my parents, but no one else just yet.

I did some research about on Etopic (or tubal) pregnancy in the next few days.  The baby attaches itself to the fallopian tube and starts to grow.  This is very dangerous and if the tube breaks, you could die if you don't get some help.  Scary stuff.  Mike and I prayed.  One evening we were at home and I got this horribly sharp pain in my shoulder.  I knew immediately what was wrong.  I told Mike and started crying.  He called my mom and the doctor.  The doctor had us go in to the Emergency Room so I could be checked out.  

By the time I got to the hospital, the pain was completely gone.  I felt a little foolish when I walked into the hospital.  But the doctor on call checked me over and really couldn't tell me anything.  So she advised me to see my regular doctor the next day and we left. 

The next day, Mike went to work and I went to the doctor.  She told me that the only thing she could do is a laparscopy to check out what is going on in side.  So she sent me to the hospital to wait on her.  That was at 2pm.  I called Mike and got him out of work, and my parents also met us there.   We waited and waited.  Finally at 8 pm, the doctor came in to do the surgery. 

When I woke up, here's what I found.  It was and Etopic pregnancy.  They had to remove a middle portion of my tube.  My tube did burst, but God saved me.  My bowel moved over and covered where the tear had happened and stopped the bleeding.  The doctor ended up doing a c-section-like cut because she couldn't get the bowel away from the fallopian tube.  I was still going to be able to have children later on.  Allie and Timm are proof of that.

Mike and I were shaken up and saddened by this loss.  But we also decided that we were not going to let it rule us.  Yes that child would have been wonderful.  But God has his reasons for taking that little one first.  We can say all we want, but I firmly believe that God made sure that Mike and I went through that.  Most people know about it, but we don't talk about it a lot.  I know that Jesus took that baby and will keep them until I get there.  

The experience made me a better mom, I hope.  I am easy going and appreciate sitting around and talking and laughing with my kids.  I try not to get too uptight about issues.  I listen and talk with my kids.  I love them with my whole heart.  But I will always have a special place for my first unborn child.

Psalm 139:13 - 15
    13For You formed my inward parts;
         You wove me in my mother's womb.
    14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
         Wonderful are Your works,
         And my soul knows it very well.


  1. that has to be heartbreaking. :( *hugs*

  2. wow! thank you for my first award!

  3. thanks for my award… i just got one last week and have to do the same thing, so accept my thanks and i'll get to it (hopefully) soon.

    sorry for your loss. even though years pass and you have more children, it's still a loss. one day you'll meet him or her. i'm certain!

  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with child-loss. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and I firmly believe that God put me through that for a reason. I appreciate my children so much and now I'm just waiting for my chance to meet my little one that wasn't meant to be in Heaven someday.

  5. great story....(hugs)...and on a lighter note, thank you for the award. I had not seen this one before and appreciate it!

  6. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost a baby before, so I know how difficult it is and remains everyday.

    PS Thanks for the award!

  7. I am so sorry for your loss and I totally understand! Someone was really watching over you that day. Beautiful story!!

    Thanks so much for the award it's my first one ever!!! Yayyy tyty!!