Next Sunday is Mother's Day, so this week I am dedicating my devotions this week to what I have gained by being a mom. I am the mother of four children. One I am step-mother to, one is up in heaven, and two I am raising with my husband. It was never a huge dream of mine to be a mother. I was never much for little ones. I baby sat as a teen, but I never had an overwhelming desire that I had to have kids.
When Mike and I got married, I instantly became a mom. I didn't feel like one. We didn't even see Jaci hardly at all until we had been married six months. I prayed that I could be nice to this child who was all of a sudden a part of a new family. I found out that I really liked this child who looked a lot like her daddy, but was closed up and not happy about being here. It broke my heart at some things that happened and was said. But we all did the best we could.
Jaci and I grew into a comfortable relationship for a while, and she could tell me things. Not a lot, but she was always great and fun. I hope some of her childhood memories include us. We had Easter Egg hunts, we took her Trick or Treat one year. She got to know her cousins. We had a lot of fun times.
Being a step-mother has different rules. It took all of us a long time to figure that out. It wasn't all fun and games and we never spent as much time with Jaci as we wanted. I had to hold back on things and find the balance between her and my children. I am sure that she never thought I did enough for her. I am sure that we were never told half the things that went on with her. A lot of time was lost during her childhood. I know I tried to do the best I could for her. I know she is a wonderful girl and that maybe, just maybe I influenced her in some way for the better. I know she influenced my view of motherhood and how wonderful it could be.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.