Monday, March 22, 2010

I Hate Worry Lines!

I woke up from a restless night sleep, not wanting to really get up, but knowing that this day had to start.  I got up, and did all the things I do in the quiet of the morning. My morning was going along fine until "WHAM!"  my stomach started bothering me.  Not a big deal, I took the magic medicine the doctor prescribed me knowing soon that I would feel better.  But that isn't the case.  I have to admit, that without me realizing it, worry is taking over me.  I really haven't tried to let it seep in.

I know that Allie will be fine.  I know that the surgeon, his staff and everyone else that will take care of her will do an excellent job.  But this is my daughter.  She is going through something that I have not had to go through.  They are taking a piece of her out of her.  I know that you can live with out it.  I know that this surgery is one of the easiest ones to recover from.  But I am still apprehensive.  Even though I didn't realize it when I woke up this morning, my body is in worry mode.   I am not even sure what I am worried about?  Am I worried that something will go wrong?  Am I worried about Allie's reaction to anything and everything in the hospital?  Am I worried about her in general?  Yes is the answer to all those questions.

John 14:1 says ""Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in me."

I keep hearing the second verse to "His Eye Is On The Sparrow".

Verse 2:
"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth
But one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

I just hope that I can let the nagging feeling leave me and the peace and assurance that God gives us cover me like a warm quilt.  I want to show my daughter that I am not worried.  She told me yesterday that she wants everyone to quit making a big deal over her.  She doesn't want anyone to worry.  Well, I am sorry, but that will never happen as long as I am breathing.  I will pray for her every day and whether she likes it or not, I will do what I can for her. I guess though, I should not let her see me like this.  She is so ready for all of this to go away.  Me too!  So pray for our peace of mind. 

I hate worrying.  I try not to do it often, but sometimes there is just too much for me to bear.  So I lay it at the cross and ask Christ to take it.  He knows that we are worried and He knows that Allie will be okay.  I just need to trust Him more.

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