The human race does not take criticism well. We do not like it when we made an error. We want to lash out or blame someone else for the mistake. Sometimes we just need to toughen up and take it like a man (so to speak). Loving someone enough to let them know they have done something wrong is hard. Keeping our mouth shut while being corrected is harder. But what you do with the criticism is the really important part.
When you are sixteen, you see what everyone else is doing and you can not help but do it yourself. At sixteen, risk is something fun, not something to worry about. At sixteen, listening to your parent harp about something is tedious and time consuming. I think that sometimes it's not about what the kids think they know. I think it is what we, as a society have done to lead and be examples to them. These kids are learning a new skill. They see other people driving around, for a lot longer, and partly they think, everyone does it like that or they are just old and set in their ways. No one cares or gets caught doing that. This is true. I have found myself saying, the law says this, but everyone breaks that law. How sad of a tale on us.
God corrects us no matter the sin and no matter our age. In his eyes, there is not gray area. We need to learn to take correction with understanding, grace, and love. Pouting, hurt feelings, and backlashing are not to be in the equation. No matter what, God loves us and wants us to be our best. When I let my kids know they have done wrong, I make sure they are listening and that they understand why what they did was a bad choice. God does the same thing. sometimes we listen, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we forget that Jesus was human too. Remember, Jesus went through what we are going through. He knows our needs, our frailties and he understands how easy it is to get frustrated or turned around going the wrong way. I pray that we will take this verse to heart.
Job 37:12-13
12"It changes direction, turning around by His guidance,
That it may do whatever He commands it
On the face of the inhabited earth.
13"Whether for correction, or for His world,
Or for lovingkindness, He causes it to happen.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Mother's Day 2010
This is my last post about Mothers. Today I want to honor all those women out there who are not moms, either by choice or by circumstance. I think that no matter what, a woman is special and should be valued.
Genesis 11:30
Sarai was barren; she had no child.I have a friend who has been married a long time. They did not have children, because she could not. They chose not to adopt and that is okay. I think it is fine not to have kids. I know that they love kids. They treat all the children around them with such love. They would have been wonderful parents. But God had different ideas for them.
Exodus 2:10
The child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh's daughter and he became her son. And she named him Moses, and said, "Because I drew him out of the water." I also have several friends who felt adoption was the right course to take. They took a child that was not from their own flesh and made them their own. I so admire that. I have great respect for anyone who takes an unwanted and makes them feel wanted. In fact, I have a nephew and niece that are adopted.
In both instances, I have great respect for the families. Yes, they are both families. When a couple gets married, they are a family. When a child comes along, you are just adding to the family. The lady with no children of her own is like an aunt to my kids. She has the maternal instinct and is so full of love. In my book, that makes her a "mom". She can help raise my kids anytime. The ladies who have chosen adoption, are just like me. They are feeling their way through raising their kids. They pick their battles, appreciate the trials and tribulations associated with parenthood, and love their children complete.
Yes, it's easy for us with children to look at someone without and either feel sorry for them or ignore their advice. But sometimes it is nice to get advice from someone who has been looking from the outside in. Sometimes, not. The trials these women go through must be agony at times. The sadness they feel because they can't conceive. The stares, the rude and hurtful words of others. They endure a lot.
Those that adopt, also can go through a lot. When the kids "find out" they are adopted, can be tramatic. The careless things people say can hurt their very core. Especially if the child is a different nationality or has a different skin color. The things that people think could damage the psyche.
So remember that this weekend is for your Mom, there are those who may feel left out because they aren't a mom. Tell all the women you know, that you appreciate all they do and that God loves them very much. I love them too.
Genesis 11:30
Sarai was barren; she had no child.I have a friend who has been married a long time. They did not have children, because she could not. They chose not to adopt and that is okay. I think it is fine not to have kids. I know that they love kids. They treat all the children around them with such love. They would have been wonderful parents. But God had different ideas for them.
Exodus 2:10
The child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh's daughter and he became her son. And she named him Moses, and said, "Because I drew him out of the water." I also have several friends who felt adoption was the right course to take. They took a child that was not from their own flesh and made them their own. I so admire that. I have great respect for anyone who takes an unwanted and makes them feel wanted. In fact, I have a nephew and niece that are adopted.
In both instances, I have great respect for the families. Yes, they are both families. When a couple gets married, they are a family. When a child comes along, you are just adding to the family. The lady with no children of her own is like an aunt to my kids. She has the maternal instinct and is so full of love. In my book, that makes her a "mom". She can help raise my kids anytime. The ladies who have chosen adoption, are just like me. They are feeling their way through raising their kids. They pick their battles, appreciate the trials and tribulations associated with parenthood, and love their children complete.
Yes, it's easy for us with children to look at someone without and either feel sorry for them or ignore their advice. But sometimes it is nice to get advice from someone who has been looking from the outside in. Sometimes, not. The trials these women go through must be agony at times. The sadness they feel because they can't conceive. The stares, the rude and hurtful words of others. They endure a lot.
Those that adopt, also can go through a lot. When the kids "find out" they are adopted, can be tramatic. The careless things people say can hurt their very core. Especially if the child is a different nationality or has a different skin color. The things that people think could damage the psyche.
So remember that this weekend is for your Mom, there are those who may feel left out because they aren't a mom. Tell all the women you know, that you appreciate all they do and that God loves them very much. I love them too.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Our Unborn Child
I received an award! Thanks to JAVA for bestowing this nice surprise on me today.
The Rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
Rule #2: 1. I like roses, especially smelly ones.
2. I took piano lessons for 11 years.
3. I love staying home and relaxing, but I never get to anymore.
4. I hate coffee...unless it has some kind of cappaccino mix in it. My favorite is English Toffee.
5. I love to bake.
6. My eyes are dark chocolate brown.
7. I love to sit out by our fire pit and talk to whoever shows up.
Rule #3
1) Ria
2) Adrienne
3) Kel
4) Queen Bee
5) Jen
9) Pure Joy
10)Kerry
12) Ocean
13) Brooke
15) Jacqui
Rule #4: I'll contact you all later.
Today, I am going to talk about the one that wasn't meant to be. In 1993, Mike and I talked about starting a family. I quickly got pregnant in late May/early June. I was drying off after a shower and a pain so sudden and sharp hit my abdomen, that I almost passed out. I knew then, that I was pregnant, but something wasn't right. But, nothing else happened in the following days. I went to the doctor in mid-June and found out that I was in fact expecting. But the news was strange. My blood cell count wasn't were it should be. The doctor told me to see my OB doctor as soon as I could.
I got in to see her and they did blood work too. I went home that afternoon and didn't do much. I was waiting for a call from the doctor. When she called, she told me that my cells weren't doubling or tripling like they should during a normal pregnancy. "I'm sorry," she said. "I think something is wrong." She told me to come in to her office the next week and see what was up. She did say she suspected that it was a tubal pregnancy. I hung up and prayed. I told Mike and we decided to tell my parents, but no one else just yet.
I did some research about on Etopic (or tubal) pregnancy in the next few days. The baby attaches itself to the fallopian tube and starts to grow. This is very dangerous and if the tube breaks, you could die if you don't get some help. Scary stuff. Mike and I prayed. One evening we were at home and I got this horribly sharp pain in my shoulder. I knew immediately what was wrong. I told Mike and started crying. He called my mom and the doctor. The doctor had us go in to the Emergency Room so I could be checked out.
By the time I got to the hospital, the pain was completely gone. I felt a little foolish when I walked into the hospital. But the doctor on call checked me over and really couldn't tell me anything. So she advised me to see my regular doctor the next day and we left.
The next day, Mike went to work and I went to the doctor. She told me that the only thing she could do is a laparscopy to check out what is going on in side. So she sent me to the hospital to wait on her. That was at 2pm. I called Mike and got him out of work, and my parents also met us there. We waited and waited. Finally at 8 pm, the doctor came in to do the surgery.
When I woke up, here's what I found. It was and Etopic pregnancy. They had to remove a middle portion of my tube. My tube did burst, but God saved me. My bowel moved over and covered where the tear had happened and stopped the bleeding. The doctor ended up doing a c-section-like cut because she couldn't get the bowel away from the fallopian tube. I was still going to be able to have children later on. Allie and Timm are proof of that.
Mike and I were shaken up and saddened by this loss. But we also decided that we were not going to let it rule us. Yes that child would have been wonderful. But God has his reasons for taking that little one first. We can say all we want, but I firmly believe that God made sure that Mike and I went through that. Most people know about it, but we don't talk about it a lot. I know that Jesus took that baby and will keep them until I get there.
The experience made me a better mom, I hope. I am easy going and appreciate sitting around and talking and laughing with my kids. I try not to get too uptight about issues. I listen and talk with my kids. I love them with my whole heart. But I will always have a special place for my first unborn child.
Psalm 139:13 - 15
13For You formed my inward parts;You wove me in my mother's womb.
14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
What I want for my Son
I was the oldest daughter in a family of four. My sister and I had a lot of male cousins and male friends, but we didn't have a brother. We had a father, whom I assumed did all the things boys did. We were grossed out by some, giggled at others and thought Dad was the greatest. Then a became the mother of a boy.
When we found out that the baby I was having was a boy, we were excited. We had two girls and Mike wanted a boy to carry on the family name. We quickly settled on his name and waited for him to arrive. I wanted a boy. There was one problem. What was I suppose to do with a boy? What would little boys do differently than little girls? What kind of surprises laid in store for me?
My son has the key to my heart. He is a lot like me and my father. When he was born, he was a big baby. Almost too big for little me to hold, but I did. He was and is total opposite of Allie. Timm didn't want to sleep, he wanted to be held and to touch you all the time. He would find the most comfort in my arms. He would only sleep for 90 minutes at a time and then be up. You had to force him to sleep. He has that family trait of only needing a little sleep. When he was old enough, he would reach up and grab my earlobe. Then he would feed or relax and nap.
I have heard that raising boys were easier than girls at this age or that age. When Allie was younger, she was more difficult than Timm. Now, I believe that the boy is harder. He questions everything. He speaks his mind, freely, and he fiercely loves his Grandmother. He is the most loving young man I know. He does what he can to help people, he loves to show off and often he tells me things to get a reaction from me.
I have racked my brains in the last couple of years, trying to figure him out. I want him to be a man of morals and manners. I want him to grow to be a man of God. I want so much for this child that I didn't know what to do with at first. My heart is so full of love for this child and I am very proud of him. I hope he always knows that his future endeavors are so exciting.
Proverbs 31:25
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
When we found out that the baby I was having was a boy, we were excited. We had two girls and Mike wanted a boy to carry on the family name. We quickly settled on his name and waited for him to arrive. I wanted a boy. There was one problem. What was I suppose to do with a boy? What would little boys do differently than little girls? What kind of surprises laid in store for me?
My son has the key to my heart. He is a lot like me and my father. When he was born, he was a big baby. Almost too big for little me to hold, but I did. He was and is total opposite of Allie. Timm didn't want to sleep, he wanted to be held and to touch you all the time. He would find the most comfort in my arms. He would only sleep for 90 minutes at a time and then be up. You had to force him to sleep. He has that family trait of only needing a little sleep. When he was old enough, he would reach up and grab my earlobe. Then he would feed or relax and nap.
I have heard that raising boys were easier than girls at this age or that age. When Allie was younger, she was more difficult than Timm. Now, I believe that the boy is harder. He questions everything. He speaks his mind, freely, and he fiercely loves his Grandmother. He is the most loving young man I know. He does what he can to help people, he loves to show off and often he tells me things to get a reaction from me.
I have racked my brains in the last couple of years, trying to figure him out. I want him to be a man of morals and manners. I want him to grow to be a man of God. I want so much for this child that I didn't know what to do with at first. My heart is so full of love for this child and I am very proud of him. I hope he always knows that his future endeavors are so exciting.
Proverbs 31:25
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
What I learned from Allie
In continuing with the Mother's Day theme, today I will talk about what I learned being a first time Mom. Yesterday, I talked about being a Step-Mom. Being a full-time Mom is so different from that experience. I loved being pregnant. All the changes that went along with my body, how I felt, how the baby grew and how I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted without any excuses. It was fun not knowing who this little child inside me was and how this little person was a combination of Mike and myself.
When Allie finally arrived into this world, it was early morning on a rainy July Saturday. She was already nine days late (according to the doctor), so they helped us along with that. I was in labor for 23 hours and finally when the doctor told me that if something didn't happen soon, they would do a cesarean. Then everyone left me; Mike and Dad went to have a smoke, Mom went to get something to drink, the doctor went to check on another patient, and the nurses went to do something else. It was just me alone in the hospital room. My thoughts were full of what-ifs. I was okay with whatever my doctor decided, but apparently, God and the baby had other ideas. I started feeling things happen and I started squirming. When a nurse came back in to check me one last time, the baby was ready, and I could push!
Now this is really a trait of Allie's. You can tell her, but when you really want her to do something, tell her what you will do if she doesn't do it, and she gets the job done. I don't use that often on her because she is such a great kid. Anyway, even before she was born, she was like that.
As a young mom, I learned a lot. I am pretty easy going, but I do have a breaking point. There were several times when Mike and I called on my parents to come help because we were just so tired. I found out that it is okay to depend on them. I learned that my love for my child is stronger than I could have ever imagined. I also learned that I know her better than anyone. I have taken criticism for how my daughter is and was. She was a very emotional child. I was surprised by that. I was never like that, but she was. I found out that people who gave me advice about how to deal with my daughter, was being polite and well-meaning, but in the end, it was me that figured her out and could calm her.
I learn from Allie everyday still. She has made me patient and it has been such a pleasure to see her grow. My heart gets bigger and bigger every day. Allie and I are nothing alike, but we learn from each other and are becoming friends. I like that.
Proverbs 31:28-29
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
When Allie finally arrived into this world, it was early morning on a rainy July Saturday. She was already nine days late (according to the doctor), so they helped us along with that. I was in labor for 23 hours and finally when the doctor told me that if something didn't happen soon, they would do a cesarean. Then everyone left me; Mike and Dad went to have a smoke, Mom went to get something to drink, the doctor went to check on another patient, and the nurses went to do something else. It was just me alone in the hospital room. My thoughts were full of what-ifs. I was okay with whatever my doctor decided, but apparently, God and the baby had other ideas. I started feeling things happen and I started squirming. When a nurse came back in to check me one last time, the baby was ready, and I could push!
Now this is really a trait of Allie's. You can tell her, but when you really want her to do something, tell her what you will do if she doesn't do it, and she gets the job done. I don't use that often on her because she is such a great kid. Anyway, even before she was born, she was like that.
As a young mom, I learned a lot. I am pretty easy going, but I do have a breaking point. There were several times when Mike and I called on my parents to come help because we were just so tired. I found out that it is okay to depend on them. I learned that my love for my child is stronger than I could have ever imagined. I also learned that I know her better than anyone. I have taken criticism for how my daughter is and was. She was a very emotional child. I was surprised by that. I was never like that, but she was. I found out that people who gave me advice about how to deal with my daughter, was being polite and well-meaning, but in the end, it was me that figured her out and could calm her.
I learn from Allie everyday still. She has made me patient and it has been such a pleasure to see her grow. My heart gets bigger and bigger every day. Allie and I are nothing alike, but we learn from each other and are becoming friends. I like that.
Proverbs 31:28-29
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Monday, May 3, 2010
My Thoughts on Being a Step-Mom
Next Sunday is Mother's Day, so this week I am dedicating my devotions this week to what I have gained by being a mom. I am the mother of four children. One I am step-mother to, one is up in heaven, and two I am raising with my husband. It was never a huge dream of mine to be a mother. I was never much for little ones. I baby sat as a teen, but I never had an overwhelming desire that I had to have kids.
When Mike and I got married, I instantly became a mom. I didn't feel like one. We didn't even see Jaci hardly at all until we had been married six months. I prayed that I could be nice to this child who was all of a sudden a part of a new family. I found out that I really liked this child who looked a lot like her daddy, but was closed up and not happy about being here. It broke my heart at some things that happened and was said. But we all did the best we could.
Jaci and I grew into a comfortable relationship for a while, and she could tell me things. Not a lot, but she was always great and fun. I hope some of her childhood memories include us. We had Easter Egg hunts, we took her Trick or Treat one year. She got to know her cousins. We had a lot of fun times.
Being a step-mother has different rules. It took all of us a long time to figure that out. It wasn't all fun and games and we never spent as much time with Jaci as we wanted. I had to hold back on things and find the balance between her and my children. I am sure that she never thought I did enough for her. I am sure that we were never told half the things that went on with her. A lot of time was lost during her childhood. I know I tried to do the best I could for her. I know she is a wonderful girl and that maybe, just maybe I influenced her in some way for the better. I know she influenced my view of motherhood and how wonderful it could be.
Proverbs 31:26-27
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
When Mike and I got married, I instantly became a mom. I didn't feel like one. We didn't even see Jaci hardly at all until we had been married six months. I prayed that I could be nice to this child who was all of a sudden a part of a new family. I found out that I really liked this child who looked a lot like her daddy, but was closed up and not happy about being here. It broke my heart at some things that happened and was said. But we all did the best we could.
Jaci and I grew into a comfortable relationship for a while, and she could tell me things. Not a lot, but she was always great and fun. I hope some of her childhood memories include us. We had Easter Egg hunts, we took her Trick or Treat one year. She got to know her cousins. We had a lot of fun times.
Being a step-mother has different rules. It took all of us a long time to figure that out. It wasn't all fun and games and we never spent as much time with Jaci as we wanted. I had to hold back on things and find the balance between her and my children. I am sure that she never thought I did enough for her. I am sure that we were never told half the things that went on with her. A lot of time was lost during her childhood. I know I tried to do the best I could for her. I know she is a wonderful girl and that maybe, just maybe I influenced her in some way for the better. I know she influenced my view of motherhood and how wonderful it could be.
Proverbs 31:26-27
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Movie - Letters to God
I rarely do a post on the weekends, but I have to tell you about last night. Last night, Foxy, Daughter, BFF, my parents, and Miss Deb, a family friend, went to see the movie Letters to God. It was one of the most hopeful, moving movies I have seen in a long time. I loved it! Everyone in the theater at one time or another, was in tears. Well, except for Daughter. That's a different story.
This story is about a boy who has cancer. It is about how this boy inspired everyone around him with his faith. As a parent, how can you have a faith that God will make everything okay when you are watching you child sick and dying? As a sibling, how can you not feel hurt and rejected because you are losing your friend? As a best friend, how can you not want to protect your best friend for all the mean people around them? As an outsider, how can you be touched by someone who you get to know? Because God gives each of us a purpose. He leads us down our path and without us realizing it, we are soon caring and friends.
This true story is about how if we take a little time and get involved with each other, we will be the ones stronger and more blessed. There were some hard scenes. Not gross hard, but scenes that each of us can look at and say, "Yeah, I've been there." I cried when the mother said, "I don't agree with God's will." There are times I have been like that. But we all know that it's okay.
This movie was truly inspirational and I strongly urge each of you to see it someday. The only person I recognized by name was Ralph Waite (you know, the dad on The Walton's). Each character gave everything and when it was over, everyone, except Dad just sat there in silence. Even when the lights came up we all sat there. The message was that strong. Daughter wants to now get involved with children that have cancer. I want to help her.
I have talked before in my devotion about how to talk to God. This movie showed this verse and I wrote it down. We are all a letter to Christ from the world. How will you show the world what your words say?
2 Corinthians 3:3
You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
This story is about a boy who has cancer. It is about how this boy inspired everyone around him with his faith. As a parent, how can you have a faith that God will make everything okay when you are watching you child sick and dying? As a sibling, how can you not feel hurt and rejected because you are losing your friend? As a best friend, how can you not want to protect your best friend for all the mean people around them? As an outsider, how can you be touched by someone who you get to know? Because God gives each of us a purpose. He leads us down our path and without us realizing it, we are soon caring and friends.
This true story is about how if we take a little time and get involved with each other, we will be the ones stronger and more blessed. There were some hard scenes. Not gross hard, but scenes that each of us can look at and say, "Yeah, I've been there." I cried when the mother said, "I don't agree with God's will." There are times I have been like that. But we all know that it's okay.
This movie was truly inspirational and I strongly urge each of you to see it someday. The only person I recognized by name was Ralph Waite (you know, the dad on The Walton's). Each character gave everything and when it was over, everyone, except Dad just sat there in silence. Even when the lights came up we all sat there. The message was that strong. Daughter wants to now get involved with children that have cancer. I want to help her.
I have talked before in my devotion about how to talk to God. This movie showed this verse and I wrote it down. We are all a letter to Christ from the world. How will you show the world what your words say?
2 Corinthians 3:3
You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
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